Building Trust

It is everything that we need

Trust is “Confidence in the character, honesty, and intentions of others”. The world is running beautifully, because we trust people and situations. When trust breaks, society starts disintegrating. Trust is the assurance that a system, process, or object will perform as expected without failing. We trust that power will come, when we switch on the AC. We trust that our flight will take us to wherever we are going. The cab will take us to the correct place in an unknown city. The food that we eat in hotels is safe and hygienic to eat. These are all example of trust. Whatever we are doing in this world, has an inbuilt trust in that.

Conversations and subsequent actions build trust. We must be fully aware of that. When we convey anything to anyone, using any language, gestures etc., so that the other person understands what we want to pass on to them. It includes talking, listening and understanding. It has an intention and the speaker wants the listener to be impacted accordingly. Listening is an active process involving:

• ears - for verbal communications
eyes - for nonverbal communications
body - for physically showing that we are listening

Conversations Trigger

• Trust

• Mistrust

Through

• Good Feelings and Emotions

• Bad Feelings and emotions

(These are controlled by different parts of Brain)

Conversations are not just a way of sharing the information. Conversations have a larger responsibility. They actually trigger physical and emotional changes in the brain that either open us up to having a healthy, trusting conversation or Close us down so that we speak from fear, caution and worry or do not speak at all. Interpretation of Conversations is in the listener’s brain.

How do we trust people? -----We analyze the acronym FORCES

• Fairness – Does this interaction and relationship feel fair? Are we establishing a WE or is this relationship about I?

• Ownership – Are we clear about our stakes, what is wers and what is mine?

• Reciprocity – Do I care for we and we for me? Do we help each other?

• Cooperation – When all we join forces and work to support each other?

• Expression – Do we allow each other to speak and express as what is in our mind? Do we give each other space and time to share our thoughts?

• Status – Do we honor where we stand in social hierarchy and do we respect each other for what we stand?

Hence, It is not surprising to note that our personal and the team’s productivity will go up, if the leader and people trust in each other. The entire organizational efficiency is based on this assumption that people will be looked after if they perform their duties well. People expect the salary to be given in time and in return they are expected top be fulfilling their roles and responsibilities assigned to them.

Trust is easy to build, if what we speak and what we do are aligned. Building trust in the team is the foremost responsibility of any leader. If we are leading a team, we will need to accept certain truths about leadership as well, if we want to be successful. These are -

• We make a difference

• Credibility is the foundation of leadership.

• Values drive commitment

• Focusing on future sets leader apart.

• We can’t do it alone. We need the team.

• Trust rules the show.

• Challenge is the crucible for success

• We have to lead by example, otherwise we can’t

• Best leaders are best learners, and

• Leadership is an affair of heart.

This write up is about building the trust for everyone’s benefit, including that of the society. It tells leaders and followers about the art and science of building trust. Trust is about –

1. Commitment to a purpose (compelling social good) – Achieve great things, having a correct model of self and business and Confidence In judgement.

2. Build consensus around the purpose – Consciously and systematically establish a mutually beneficial business, leverage collective strength and get everyone aligned

3. Prepare to execute (Critical transformation from vision to action) - Always nail the basic of preparation and accomplishment, know how to appropriately plan and Manage resource allocation and commitment

4. Inspire a transformative culture - Build a culture as per the company’s vision by model transformational behaviour thinking of culture and depth, actively articulate and share a collective purpose and a path to mastery.

5. Lead from FLOW state - Flow is the mental state of operation with full immersion, energised focus, full involvement and enjoyment in the process of activity.

Leadership is about what we do, not what we talk. The team will follow us when they see that we are worth following. They are judging us and these are the things they are looking for in us -

• We being Honest – Telling truth and having ethical principles, clear standards by which we live.

• Being Forward Looking – Having a sense of direction and a concern for the future of the organization

• Being Inspiring – Sharing a genuine enthusiasm, excitement and energy we have about the possibilities ahead.

• Being Competent – Refers to our track record and our abilities to get the things done

A fact about Leadership is summed up nicely in a sentence that we cannot commit to something, that is not important to us. We HAVE to understand who we are, what we care about and why do we do, what we do!!! (These actually determine our success in business and life).

Leadership is a team sport and we build trust by our actions, that include

• Behave predictably and consistently.

• Communicate clearly.

• Treat promises seriously, and

• Be forthright and candid.

We also need to understand that in a team sport, leader can’t do everything by themselves. They need the team to be equally involved. A yardstick of team’s involvement is the conversations and the actions that the team displays in its interactions with each other and the leader.

For trust to continue, apart from leadership, conversation is extremely important and also, very dicey. The listener may not understand fully what the speaker is saying. There is a famous quote by a Pentagon Spokesperson in a press brief during Vietnam War - “ I KNOW THAT WE BELIEVE WE UNDERSTAND WHAT WE THINK I SAID, BUT I AM NOT SURE WE REALIZE THAT WHAT WE HEARD IS NOT, WHAT I MEANT.”

As a Leader, we have to facilitate Conversations, NOT talk to the people. And in the initial phases of the conversation, everyone is looking for friendship or enmity in the point of contact. “Am I feeling good or bad in this conversation?” is on everyone’s mind. However, conversations have BLIND SPOTS. We should be on guard against them

• Blind Spot ‘1’: It involves an assumption that others see what we see, feel what we feel and think what we think.

• Blind Spot ‘2’: It is the failure to realize that fear, trust and distrust changes how we see and interpret reality and therefore how we talk about it

• Blind Spot ‘3’: It shows an inability to stand in each other’s shoes when we are fearful or upset.

• Blind Spot ‘4’: It is the assumption that we remember what others say, when we actually remember what we think about what others say.

• Blind Spot ‘5’: This blind spot characterizes the assumption that meaning resides in the speaker, when in fact it resides in the listener

When we understand all, these explained above, building or developing trust becomes easy. When we trust each other, nothing is impossible.